The cell was cold. It was summer in the Chihuahuan Desert, and yet this tiny cinderblock room in the middle of the Doña Ana County Detention Center was freezing. I kept asking myself “How can anywhere in the desert be this fucking cold?” and the deeper questions I was afraid to ask “What did I do that got me here?” and “What don’t I remember?” It was the summer of 2002. I had been spiraling out of control for three years. I was caught in a struggle with depression that wa

One of the things that I’ve noticed over the course of my work is that men are afraid of stepping out of conventional ideas of strength and into the fire of their own wounds. It is a bit ironic, actually. To do deep psychological and spiritual work takes a lot of courage. Definitely much more courage than pretending that nothing fazes you. But our social structure has for generations taught men that the only appropriate outward display of emotion is anger, if even that. I