STEPPING THROUGH MY SHADOW

AN 8 - WEEK JOURNEY OF EXPLORING, HEALING, AND INTEGRATING YOUR DEEPEST SELF

Learn to see your unconscious blind spots

 

Free yourself from a cycle of painful relationships

 

Transform behaviors that hurt you and those around you 

Develop a strong sense of purpose and connection

Stepping Through My Shadow is an 8-week journey into the depths of what makes you tick. While you may not know it (and many people don't), the majority of decisions you make in your life emerge from unknown parts of you, parts that have been trapped in repetitive cycles of wounding. This group is to help you shine the light on those hidden parts, to give you the tools and experiences to recognize when you are being triggered by unhealed wounds in you. So that you can heal. So that your unconscious actions don't continue to spread the sickness that afflicts our world. Until you have healed these things in you, you will continue to cycle through similar painful experiences. You will come to believe that those experiences are just how life is, and you will invite more of them into your life. That is not "just how life is." Your life is a field of endless possibilities. In order to shape it consciously, you must integrate your Shadow.

HERE'S HOW THIS GROUP WILL HELP YOU

YOU ARE NECESSARY

The world we live in is spinning out of control. There is chaos closing in on all of us. We see it in the destruction of the environment. We see it in the countless wars that ravage the planet. We see it in the persecution of immigrants. In the forced displacement and genocide of indigenous peoples. We see it in our youth. In those driven to horrendous acts of violence out of rage, desperation, isolation. We see it in the steeply rising rates of suicide among the young and the elderly. 

What do you do about it?

In you is the capacity to make a massive difference in the world. In the lives of your loved ones. In the lives of those that you have never met. In you is the capacity to create a ripple effect throughout the world. By healing the wounds you carry in you. By integrating the shadow sides of you that lead you to do unconscious things that perpetuate the sickness in the world.

YOUR SHADOW AND THE SHADOW

You are an essential part of all things. Like a drop of water in the ocean, you are at once the drop and the ocean itself. Because of this, what exists inside of you also contributes to what manifests in the collective. In the world. The unconscious resentments, fears, and judgments that you carry are the underlying motivations for most of your actions.

Each of us has a shadow side. Your Shadow is the part of you that is unseen, the part that is made up of every aspect of you that has been rejected, criticized, unacknowledged. The part that has been wounded. When you have not integrated this part of you, it rules all of your actions.  

Your Shadow is always trying to call your attention to itself. To the parts of you that are wounded. These wounded parts of you manifest in your relationships. Maybe you've had the experience of dating one person after another only to end up having the same problems, the same frustrations and painful experiences as the last time. Maybe there is something that you know you are here to do but you keep holding yourself back for fear of being criticized. Maybe you've had some success in your life but none of it satisfies you. Maybe you keep moving from being angry to being afraid to being angry at others, the world, or yourself.

These are all manifestations of your Shadow. They are ways that your deepest wounds are making themselves known to you through the mirror of the world.

 

THE COLLECTIVE SHADOW

SM 

I tell you, Chickadee

I am afraid of people

who cannot cry

Tears left unshed

turn to poison

in the ducts

Ask the next soldier you see

enjoying a massacre 

if this is not so.

People who do not cry

are victims

of soul mutilation

paid for in Marlboros

and trucks.

Resist.

Violence does not work

except for the man

who pays your salary

Who knows

if you could still weep

you would not take the job.

- Alice Walker

The resentments and untended wounds in you leak into the Collective Consciousness of the World. Just like the wounds of the world leak into you. You are a semi-permeable being, so you influence the outside world and the outside world influences you. This means that when you act unconsciously from a place of fear, rage, or resentment, you are contributing to these forces in the world at large. In all of their manifestations. You are a microcosm of the macrocosm. In other words, by healing what's in you, you contribute to healing the World. You are absolutely necessary to change the World we live in. 

HEAL YOURSELF TO HEAL THE WORLD

HEAL YOURSELF TO HEAL THE WORLD

You are necessary. Your medicine is necessary. You find your medicine in the healing of your wounds. This is how you can make the biggest impact on the world and be who you truly are. Fully. Courageously. Unapologetically. 

Now, I'm not saying that the journey is going to be easy. It is going to challenge you in every way. If you have the courage to take this journey, you are going to come face-to-face with parts of yourself that are uncomfortable, maybe even frightening. You are going to see your most judgmental, critical sides of you and how you project them onto the world. You are going to have to come to terms with things you've done to yourself and blamed others for. You're going to have to accept all the ways you've tripped yourself up and stunted your own growth. You're going to weep. You are going to grieve parts of you that have been discarded, wounded, and abandoned. You're going to have to honor the lessons those parts of you have to teach you. You are going to have to take full responsibility for your life.

WHY WOULD I EVER WANT TO DO THAT? You ask...

There is a deep wound that we all carry. It is a hunger that we can't seem to satisfy. Not through sex, drugs, money, fame, relationships...nothing external can fulfill this hunger. It can only be fulfilled, healed, within you.

When I was younger, I didn't know this. I looked outside of myself to fill that hunger. But I didn't find anything that could. For most of my life, I stifled the fact that I see the world in a different way than most people. I see things that many others don't. At first, this ability was a very heavy burden. It meant that I grew up isolated, alone, in my deepest experience of life. I couldn't share it with others because if I did I was attacked for seeing what I saw. For not going with the program. Over time the judgments and attacks I experienced took root in me, and I became the person that persecuted and attacked me for seeing what I see. For being different.

As these judgments grew and I fed into them, they became a tangible, overwhelming force bent on destroying me, through me. I spiraled down in cycles of rage and deep depression. I opened myself up to destructive energies through self-destructive behaviors; drugs, binge drinking, cutting, reckless sex, violence. These things became my life for a time. Until it almost killed me.

 

At the most desperate point of my life I almost died in a car accident that I caused. That night I had a choice put in front of me that changed my life: continue living this destructive path and make a living hell of my life and destroy the lives and innocence of others, or take full responsibility for my life and dedicate myself to healing the deep wounds that allowed these destructive energies to take root in me. The moment I chose to dive into my Shadow my entire life changed.

 

There were times when the road was extremely difficult. When I thought I had nothing left in me to keep going. Time when the only thing left to do was learn to pray, to turn over those things that were too big for me to carry, to seek the help of my ancestors, of All-My-Relations. Then something changed. Gradually, what was poisoning me changed. It became understanding. Love. Compassion. It became the courage to share the medicine I earned through those journeys into the darkness of my Soul. It became the only worthwhile reason and explanation for my being alive. 

YOUR MEDICINE IS IN YOUR WOUNDS

So, how does this work?

 

It works by first becoming aware of your own blind spots. Seeing the places where your judgments and resentments towards the world are reflections of the deep wounds you carry in you. Then we track the wounded parts of you, back to where they originated. Once there, we will begin the work of honoring and healing those parts of you. Of welcoming them home. Over the course of this journey you will learn many things that will help you continue the work of healing those inner wounds. You will also learn how to help those around you, when and if they are ready for it. You will learn how to eliminate emotional triggers that hurt you and others. 

You will be challenged. If you are not willing to dive into this work fully, wholeheartedly, this is not for you. If you have any doubt in you that this is possible, this is not for you. If you are not committed to making these changes in your life, this is not for you. 

This is for you if you are dedicated to putting an end to the suffering in your life. If you are dedicated to making a difference in the world by becoming an example to those around you. If you are courageous enough to be a force for transformation in the world.

WHAT DOES THIS JOURNEY CONSIST OF

WEEK 1: The Shadow and the Collective Shadow

 

Learn about how your Shadow manifests in your life. Your Shadow is intimately connected to the Collective Shadow. It is a doorway. Learn how to use it to heal your suffering and contribute to healing the suffering in the world.

 

 

 

WEEK 2: Mirroring and Projection

 

Learn about how your untended wounds manifest in the world around you through others. How your social interactions and relationships are all mirrors for unacknowledged parts of you.

 

 

 

WEEK 3: The Untended Wounds

 

Learn about the wounds that have continually affected your life through unconscious decisions and behaviors. Learn how to heal those wounds and integrate the wounded parts of yourself.

 

 

 

WEEK 4: Honoring the Wounded Self

 

The wounded parts of you all have things to teach you. When you learn how to honor those teachings, your wounds become the source of your medicine. The more you give the gift of this medicine the more alive you will be.

 

 

 

WEEK 5: Grief and Gratitude

 

Grief and gratitude are twin gateways into the Sacred. Into the Heart of the World. When you learn to properly grieve you will learn the true meaning of Life. The brilliance of this will put you in the arms of gratitude.

 

 

 

WEEK 6: Rituals for Feeding the Unseen

 

What you have learned needs to be grounded in the physical world. Your expressions of grief and gratitude must be offered up through the vehicle of ritual. Learn how to weave rituals that integrate what you’ve learned into your daily life.

 

 

 

WEEK 7: Becoming a Guardian

 

Learn what it means to become a guardian of your own space, of your own energy. Continue to grow the things you’ve learned by sharing them in your unique way. Become a guardian of the increasingly sacred space that surrounds you.

 

 

 

WEEK 8: Tending the Fires

 

Integration. How to carry this flame of transformation for the rest of your life.

COST

STEPPING THROUGH MY SHADOW

AN 8 - WEEK JOURNEY OF EXPLORING, HEALING, AND INTEGRATING YOUR DEEPEST SELF

Learn to see your unconscious blind spots

 

Free yourself from a cycle of painful relationships

 

Transform behaviors that hurt you and those around you 

Develop a strong sense of purpose and connection

Stepping Through My Shadow is an 8-week journey into the depths of what makes you tick. While you may not know it (and many people don't), the majority of decisions you make in your life emerge from unknown parts of you, parts that have been trapped in repetitive cycles of wounding. This group is to help you shine the light on those hidden parts, to give you the tools and experiences to recognize when you are being triggered by unhealed wounds in you. So that you can heal. So that your unconscious actions don't continue to spread the sickness that afflicts our world. Until you have healed these things in you, you will continue to cycle through similar painful experiences. You will come to believe that those experiences are just how life is, and you will invite more of them into your life. That is not "just how life is." Your life is a field of endless possibilities. In order to shape it consciously, you must integrate your Shadow.

HERE'S HOW THIS GROUP WILL HELP YOU

YOU ARE NECESSARY

The world we live in is spinning out of control. There is chaos closing in on all of us. We see it in the destruction of the environment. We see it in the countless wars that ravage the planet. We see it in the persecution of immigrants. In the forced displacement and genocide of indigenous peoples. We see it in our youth. In those driven to horrendous acts of violence out of rage, desperation, isolation. We see it in the steeply rising rates of suicide among the young and the elderly. 

What do you do about it?

In you is the capacity to make a massive difference in the world. In the lives of your loved ones. In the lives of those that you have never met. In you is the capacity to create a ripple effect throughout the world. By healing the wounds you carry in you. By integrating the shadow sides of you that lead you to do unconscious things that perpetuate the sickness in the world.

YOUR SHADOW AND THE SHADOW

You are an essential part of all things. Like a drop of water in the ocean, you are at once the drop and the ocean itself. Because of this, what exists inside of you also contributes to what manifests in the collective. In the world. The unconscious resentments, fears, and judgments that you carry are the underlying motivations for most of your actions.

Each of us has a shadow side. Your Shadow is the part of you that is unseen, the part that is made up of every aspect of you that has been rejected, criticized, unacknowledged. The part that has been wounded. When you have not integrated this part of you, it rules all of your actions.  

Your Shadow is always trying to call your attention to itself. To the parts of you that are wounded. These wounded parts of you manifest in your relationships. Maybe you've had the experience of dating one person after another only to end up having the same problems, the same frustrations and painful experiences as the last time. Maybe there is something that you know you are here to do but you keep holding yourself back for fear of being criticized. Maybe you've had some success in your life but none of it satisfies you. Maybe you keep moving from being angry to being afraid to being angry at others, the world, or yourself.

These are all manifestations of your Shadow. They are ways that your deepest wounds are making themselves known to you through the mirror of the world.

 

THE COLLECTIVE SHADOW

SM 

I tell you, Chickadee

I am afraid of people

who cannot cry

Tears left unshed

turn to poison

in the ducts

Ask the next soldier you see

enjoying a massacre 

if this is not so.

People who do not cry

are victims

of soul mutilation

paid for in Marlboros

and trucks.

Resist.

Violence does not work

except for the man

who pays your salary

Who knows

if you could still weep

you would not take the job.

- Alice Walker

The resentments and untended wounds in you leak into the Collective Consciousness of the World. Just like the wounds of the world leak into you. You are a semi-permeable being, so you influence the outside world and the outside world influences you. This means that when you act unconsciously from a place of fear, rage, or resentment, you are contributing to these forces in the world at large. In all of their manifestations. You are a microcosm of the macrocosm. In other words, by healing what's in you, you contribute to healing the World. You are absolutely necessary to change the World we live in. 

HEAL YOURSELF TO HEAL THE WORLD

HEAL YOURSELF TO HEAL THE WORLD

You are necessary. Your medicine is necessary. You find your medicine in the healing of your wounds. This is how you can make the biggest impact on the world and be who you truly are. Fully. Courageously. Unapologetically. 

Now, I'm not saying that the journey is going to be easy. It is going to challenge you in every way. If you have the courage to take this journey, you are going to come face-to-face with parts of yourself that are uncomfortable, maybe even frightening. You are going to see your most judgmental, critical sides of you and how you project them onto the world. You are going to have to come to terms with things you've done to yourself and blamed others for. You're going to have to accept all the ways you've tripped yourself up and stunted your own growth. You're going to weep. You are going to grieve parts of you that have been discarded, wounded, and abandoned. You're going to have to honor the lessons those parts of you have to teach you. You are going to have to take full responsibility for your life.

WHY I DO THIS WORK

There is a deep wound that we all carry. It is a hunger that we can't seem to satisfy. Not through sex, drugs, money, fame, relationships...nothing external can fulfill this hunger. It can only be fulfilled, healed, within you.

When I was younger, I didn't know this. I looked outside of myself to fill that hunger. But I didn't find anything that could. For most of my life, I stifled the fact that I see the world in a different way than most people. I see things that many others don't. At first, this ability was a very heavy burden. It meant that I grew up isolated, alone, in my deepest experience of life. I couldn't share it with others because if I did I was attacked for seeing what I saw. For not going with the program. Over time the judgments and attacks I experienced took root in me, and I became the person that persecuted and attacked me for seeing what I see. For being different.

As these judgments grew and I fed into them, they became a tangible, overwhelming force bent on destroying me, through me. I spiraled down in cycles of rage and deep depression. I opened myself up to destructive energies through self-destructive behaviors; drugs, binge drinking, cutting, reckless sex, violence. These things became my life for a time. Until it almost killed me.

 

At the most desperate point of my life I almost died in a car accident that I caused. That night I had a choice put in front of me that changed my life: continue living this destructive path and make a living hell of my life and destroy the lives and innocence of others, or take full responsibility for my life and dedicate myself to healing the deep wounds that allowed these destructive energies to take root in me. The moment I chose to dive into my Shadow my entire life changed.

 

There were times when the road was extremely difficult. When I thought I had nothing left in me to keep going. Time when the only thing left to do was learn to pray, to turn over those things that were too big for me to carry, to seek the help of my ancestors, of All-My-Relations. Then something changed. Gradually, what was poisoning me changed. It became understanding. Love. Compassion. It became the courage to share the medicine I earned through those journeys into the darkness of my Soul. It became the only worthwhile reason and explanation for my being alive. 

YOUR MEDICINE IS IN YOUR WOUNDS

So, how does this work?

 

It works by first becoming aware of your own blind spots. Seeing the places where your judgments and resentments towards the world are reflections of the deep wounds you carry in you. Then we track the wounded parts of you, back to where they originated. Once there, we will begin the work of honoring and healing those parts of you. Of welcoming them home. Over the course of this journey you will learn many things that will help you continue the work of healing those inner wounds. You will also learn how to help those around you, when and if they are ready for it. You will learn how to eliminate emotional triggers that hurt you and others. 

You will be challenged. If you are not willing to dive into this work fully, wholeheartedly, this is not for you. If you have any doubt in you that this is possible, this is not for you. If you are not committed to making these changes in your life, this is not for you. 

This is for you if you are dedicated to putting an end to the suffering in your life. If you are dedicated to making a difference in the world by becoming an example to those around you. If you are courageous enough to be a force for transformation in the world.

WHAT DOES THIS JOURNEY CONSIST OF

WEEK 1: The Shadow and the Collective Shadow

 

Learn about how your Shadow manifests in your life. Your Shadow is intimately connected to the Collective Shadow. It is a doorway. Learn how to use it to heal your suffering and contribute to healing the suffering in the world.

 

September 25, 2019

7PM PST

 

WEEK 2: Mirroring and Projection

 

Learn about how your untended wounds manifest in the world around you through others. How your social interactions and relationships are all mirrors for unacknowledged parts of you.

October 2, 2019

 7PM PST

WEEK 3: The Untended Wounds

 

Learn about the wounds that have continually affected your life through unconscious decisions and behaviors. Learn how to heal those wounds and integrate the wounded parts of yourself.

 

October 16, 2019

7PM PST 

WEEK 4: Honoring the Wounded Self

 

The wounded parts of you all have things to teach you. When you learn how to honor those teachings, your wounds become the source of your medicine. The more you give the gift of this medicine the more alive you will be.

October 30, 2019

7PM PST

 

WEEK 5: Grief and Gratitude

 

Grief and gratitude are twin gateways into the Sacred. Into the Heart of the World. When you learn to properly grieve you will learn the true meaning of Life. The brilliance of this will put you in the arms of gratitude.

November 6, 2019

7PM PST

 

WEEK 6: Rituals for Feeding the Unseen

 

What you have learned needs to be grounded in the physical world. Your expressions of grief and gratitude must be offered up through the vehicle of ritual. Learn how to weave rituals that integrate what you’ve learned into your daily life.

November 13, 2019

7PM PST

 

WEEK 7: Becoming a Guardian

 

Learn what it means to become a guardian of your own space, of your own energy. Continue to grow the things you’ve learned by sharing them in your unique way. Become a guardian of the increasingly sacred space that surrounds you.

November 20, 2019

7PM PST

 

WEEK 8: Tending the Fires

 

Integration. How to carry this flame of transformation for the rest of your life.

November 27, 2019

7PM PST

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

Anne Liljedahl, MD/Ninja(no, really...)/Yogini

- Kari Sortland, UX Expert, Kayaker, All-Around-Badass

I've worked with Oscar for over ten years and I continue to be impressed by his wisdom and his ability to say the right words at the right time. He truly knows how to light the fire of adventure and awe at the mystery which surrounds us and runs through us. I can't recommend working with him strongly enough.

- Camilo Gaston-Greenberg

My work with Oscar, during and after a period of my life where everything I held dear to me-- burned to the ground-- was not only life affirming, but a great reset and reminder of the Divine Power of the Elements.  <3

 

- Marja West

 

Oscar's helped me bring together disparate parts of myself. A major step on a path to wholeness. He blends physical work with the spiritual so my life is feeling more balanced. He artfully distills stories down to their heart of truth. He's gifted with insightful wisdom.

 

- Kathy Frey

 

Oscar shares his knowledge in a humble manner, encouraging the listener/follower to "do the work," rather than make the claim that he's the guru with the answers, as so many easily do. He brings the right questions to light, ones that cause you to examine yourself.

 

- Jon Robinson

 

START THE JOURNEY

REGISTRATION

Spaces are limited for this group. In my experience, this allows us to develop a safe, supportive container for each of you in the group. This group is confidential, meaning that nothing that is shared in this group is to be shared outside of the group. That goes for any personal information shared by any of the participants or by me stays in the container of the group. Maintaining the integrity of the container is a shared responsibility by all of the participants.

As a side note, I have found that doing this type of deep, intensive work requires time to process and to integrate. Often, members of our communities don't have an understanding of the transformative power of these experiences. When we share what we've experienced prematurely they can tend to be dismissive or outright critical of our experience. With this, or any other ritual/ceremony experience, it is important to "let it cook." Give the things you learn in our sessions time to integrate in you before deciding to share with others. Otherwise, the alchemical vessel is broken and the work doesn't complete itself.

To register please fill out the contact form below. I'd like to get to know more about you so I can better serve you and the group. Please let me know why you are interested in doing this type of work and if you've done anything like this in the past? Also, I'd love to hear if you have any current spiritual practice that supports your growth and healing. I look forward to hearing from you.

- Oscar 

Contact Us

COST

$ 832

Once you have submitted your contact form we will send you an invoice for payment. Payment plans are available. Once we have processed your payment, you will be admitted and we'll send you further details on the Zoom group meetings and times.

 

 

*I will offer two scholarships for this program. If you are interested in receiving a scholarship, please include that in your Contact email and we'll send you a separate scholarship application. 

FACILITATOR

Oscar C. Pérez has spent his life studying different spiritual traditions and schools of psychology. For the last sixteen years, he has helped countless people through the darkest times of their lives. Oscar is guided by a deep understanding that we are all unique manifestations of the same essence, what in the Toltec tradition is called Centeotl, Tloque Nahuaque, Ipalnemohuani. His own apprenticeship with grief and gratitude has guided him to share the ceremonial teachings he has received to help others develop a tangible relationship with Life, with the Great Mystery. He has studied in both academic and ceremonial settings. His approach bridges these two perspectives. He received his PhD from Brown University in 2011, where he studied how storytelling and ritual transform the lives of individuals and communities.

If you have any questions contact me at oscar@tendingthefires.com

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